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Ugh, you think you can understand what *I’m* saying? As if! I’m Girl Jordan, and I’m, like, totally obsessed with Lincoln Loud. *He’s* my boyfriend, and I’m going to force him to do all sorts of things with me (whether he likes it or NOT), like force him to pee in his pants before stripping him naked or strip him to his underwear and force him to pee in his underwear before stripping him naked, force him to eat pizza and popcorn until he gets fat, force him to watch Disney Princess movies with me on Disney+, force him to swim naked in my swimming pool, force him to sing and dance to songs performed by girls, whip him until he cries like a baby, rape him, spank him until his butt turns red, give him a sponge bath, and force him to pee naked standing up. And that’s why I created the *Girl Jordan (Bad Portrayal) Translator*! It’s like, the only way you can ever hope to comprehend my *amazing* self. So, like, use it already!
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