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Hark, dost thou yearn to converse with the primal essence dwelling within thy very core, yet find’st thy tongue entangled in the intricacies of modern parlance? Fear not, for the **Neanderthal’s Brain But In (EMODERNE) Translator** is at thy service! This wondrous tool doth transmute the common tongue into the manner of speech befitting a Neanderthal, but elegantly phrased in the spirit of Early Modern English, akin to the days of Shakespeare of yore. With each phrase, sentence, and utterance, the translator doth capture the raw instinct and unrefined sentiments of our ancient forebears, while cloaking it in the flowery and theatrical expressions of the Elizabethan Age. Unleash thy inner cave dweller, while still sounding like a character ripped straight from the theater!
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